Sniff Testing

If someone would’ve told me that I would spend so much time in terror of changing my own child’s diaper, I’d have believed them but I would’ve figured it was because of it being soiled, I mean who really likes to have to be elbow deep in poop?  Especially when you are not being paid.  No one told me of the possibility of my child throwing a class one fit every time I change her diaper.  This normally even tempered angel practically makes herself hyperventilate by crying so hard every single time I place her down on that changing pad (any changing pad).  I can’t even unbutton her to check her diaper without the wailing starting, I have come to the conclusion that my child would rather be left alone in her own mess.

Our last bit of Swaddlers until we move on to the other diapers.

For my husband his saving grace is the diapers we are using.  Pampers Swaddlers.  I bought them on sale months ago and was pleasantly surprised when our hospital was using them also when I gave birth.  I had no idea about the color change strip on the outside (goes from yellow to blue when wet) and while at first I thought it was pretty gimmicky it’s become a saving grace.  My husband’s greatest dread is when we run out and have to use the boxes of Costco diapers we got as gifts and he is going to have to do more than just a quick visual inspection.

Now for me the diapers don’t matter, yes the color changing makes it easier for a guy that would’ve probably otherwise found ways to get out of checking and changing diapers.  However since Baby Bird even fusses when her onesie is unbuttoned or her pj’s are unzipped I’ve found using my nose more and more effective.  As weird as it sounds or looks I sniff my Little Birds butt to avoid unnecessary depantsing.  Really why upset her unless I really have to, I am just hoping as she gets older changings will be less traumatic and I don’t even want to think how potty training will go.

Super Mothers

I don't know what it is about first time moms (and even some of you second, third, and fourth time moms) that feel the need and expect yourselves to be SuperMom.  Now personally I figured my level headedness and just sheer laziness would’ve prevented even the whisper of the SuperMom thoughts from entering my head, but oh how wrong I was.  Now most day’s I find myself trying to be some hybrid of Martha Stewart, June Cleaver, and Laura Petrie (actually if you think about it Laura Petrie was a mix of Martha Stewart and June Cleaver, so I guess I am just trying to be like her).  I can help but feel useless, even though I know it is stupid, on days when Baby Bird is fussy and all I can do to calm her is hold her (rather its hold and walk or hold and sit).  On those days I’m lucky if I can get one thing done, that one thing usually being the dishes and her bottles and I start to feel like a failure that can't keep the home clean since I am stuck here all day.  However on the days when she is sleeping for decent periods I find myself over doing it.  The whole nap when baby naps thing is such a farce to me.

Just a few days ago when Baby Bird was having a pretty calm day and slept through most of it, instead of resting myself I cleaned the kitchen, organized the Tupperware, got the laundry done and put away finally (believe me it was a mountain), and scrubbed the heck out of both toilets.  Oh and I tried to make myself waffles because I was getting sick and tired of eating food that I can grab with one hand i.e. breakfast bars. On a side note I found out that if your waffle iron breaks you can use waffle batter to make pancakes, its just a lot denser of a pancake.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

By the time the night came to a close I was so exhausted I darn near throttled my husband when I sent him a text message to pick up dinner and he declined.  My sheer stubbornness kicked in and I refused to cook that night, so no dinner for him and just a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for me.  On the bright side he did learn that when I ask for him to pick up dinner well he only has one option that will end in a happy outcome.

As for me I am going to have to find a way to balance the need to be productive and have something  visual to show for it and living in the now with my daughter.  I have to switch my mind set over to so what if the laundry doesn’t get done that day or that I’m essentially walking room to room trying to sooth a crying child it’s still okay and I am being productive, after all I am bringing up a bright and beautiful little girl and as long as she is loved and healthy what else truly matters at the end of the day.

Schedule

Oh the big plans I had for the week, the quick burst of scheduled work (house, blog, and physical) oh the dreams, because honestly that's what these ideas were, dreams.  Now I'm not stupid I do know that by having a newborn I'd have to work around her schedule (which is usually a three hour cycle) or so that is the lies I was told.  The funny thing is the word schedule and newborn should never even be on the same page, they are so volatile together that if they even look at each other the world as we know it will implode. 

My Baby Bird was on that three hour cycle up until yesterday but now she has turned into a little monster every time I lay her down in her cradle.  Three wonderful weeks of being a new mom, getting used to the lack of sleep during the night, becoming a wiz (no pun intended) at changing a diaper before Baby Bird fully wakes up and raises hell because she is cold, half naked, and being fussed with, learning when all else fails a pacifier and sometime in the rocker works wonders.  Yesterday it seemed nothing would consul her no matter what my husband or myself did, by late night all three of us were exhausted.  Baby Bird slept a five hour stent eventually that might have been longer if I hadn’t woke her up to feed and change.  The morning walk husband and I planned on taking never happened due to us both being way too exhausted but still I had planned all these other things that I needed to do around the house but after my husband left for work and Baby Bird was in need of a feeding, usually I can put her down afterward and spend an hour to an hour and a half doing dishes, laundry, blog work, etc.  Not today though, nope today the only time she will sleep is if I am holding her. 

The only thing I’ve been able to feed myself have had to be easy to pick up one handed and shovel into my mouth, if it needs two hands or prep work then I’m out of luck.  I’ve just now been able to grab a cup of coffee but to my surprise all that is left in the house is decaf, so what is the point.  Right now is the only time I’ve been able to put her down since this morning and not be rewarded with an ear piercing shriek but I’m at the exhaustion point to were the laundry will not be folded, the dishes are lucky if they make it to dishwasher, and thank god a week before giving birth I made a bunch of freezer meals because one of them is barely going to make it into the oven in time for husband to get home.  The blog post I planned on writing or at least mapping out on breastfeeding is just a bunch of bouncing thoughts around my head and so not going to get down on paper tonight.  So today if there has been anything I’ve learned is that day to day things will change drastically and that is okay.  If Baby Bird needs me to hold her for hours on end that is okay also the laundry, dishes, and even this blog can wait.