About

As I was approaching my 30's I still felt like I was in a perpetual adolescence.  I mean sure I had a stable committed relationship, and we were living together with my lack of ambition and part time job I felt like I was achieving nothing.  Then one day last year the unexpected happened, a missed period and a positive pregnancy test, you see my birth control had failed. 

Before this time I had never seen myself as being someones mother, or even wife.  Being pro choice since a teenager (still am mind you) I'd always said if something like this happens to me I'd do what I felt was right and abort.  Believe me I had a laundry list or reasons why I should never become a mother (some I may or may not get into with this blog).  However when the reality of it happened I made the only choice I could for myself (because of myself mind you, not because of any outside influences).  My then boyfriend (now husband hehe) got married right away and we bravely faced our new lives together as husband and wife and soon to be parents.

My pregnancy wasn't exactly easy, not only with wrapping my mind around and second guessing everything, being fearful of most things that could happen, and handling things that were happening I had no one to lean on who had been through what I was going through.  You see I'm very socially awkward (moderate to heavy general anxiety makes making friends very hard).  So I turned to online forums to help me prepare.  I realized something, the majority of these message boards are very cliquey and judgmental.  Not really helpful for someone like me so I just lurked on them never really making myself known.  

Well now that I am no longer pregnant and have a three week old keeping me on my toes I feel the need to start this blog for others who just feel comfortable lurking but still want personal experience from someone who is similar to them so they know they aren't alone (keep in mind you don't have to lurk if you don't want to).  I am new to this whole Motherhood thing, with common sense and the pediatrician on speed dial I am learning my way (thank goodness for the help and support of my husband too), I want to share my thoughts and my rants on being a new mother with the world.  What I share are my ideas, experiences, and stuff that I've found that works for me, keep in mind though I am no professional (in anything but especially child development and psychology).  So read and laugh along with me but please if you need professional help (medical, or mental health wise) for you or your little bundle of joy seek it out.