I don't know what it is about first time moms (and even some
of you second, third, and fourth time moms) that feel the need and expect yourselves
to be SuperMom. Now personally I figured
my level headedness and just sheer laziness would’ve prevented even the whisper
of the SuperMom thoughts from entering my head, but oh how wrong I was. Now most day’s I find myself trying to be
some hybrid of Martha Stewart, June Cleaver, and Laura Petrie (actually if you
think about it Laura Petrie was a mix of Martha Stewart and June Cleaver, so I
guess I am just trying to be like her).
I can help but feel useless, even though I know it is stupid, on days
when Baby Bird is fussy and all I can do to calm her is hold her (rather its
hold and walk or hold and sit). On those
days I’m lucky if I can get one thing done, that one thing usually being the
dishes and her bottles and I start to feel like a failure that can't keep the home clean since I am stuck here all day. However on the
days when she is sleeping for decent periods I find myself over doing it. The whole nap when baby naps thing is such a
farce to me.
Just a few days ago when Baby Bird was having a pretty calm day and slept through most of it, instead of resting myself I cleaned the kitchen, organized the Tupperware,
got the laundry done and put away finally (believe me it was a mountain), and scrubbed the heck out of both toilets. Oh
and I tried to make myself waffles because I was getting sick and tired of
eating food that I can grab with one hand i.e. breakfast bars. On a side note I found out that if your waffle iron breaks you
can use waffle batter to make pancakes, its just a lot denser of a pancake.
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| Exhibit A |
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| Exhibit B |
By the time the night came to a close I was so exhausted I
darn near throttled my husband when I sent him a text message to pick up dinner
and he declined. My sheer stubbornness kicked
in and I refused to cook that night, so no dinner for him and just a peanut
butter and jelly sandwich for me. On the
bright side he did learn that when I ask for him to pick up dinner well he only
has one option that will end in a happy outcome.
As for me I am going to have to find a way to balance the
need to be productive and have something visual to show for it and living in the now with
my daughter. I have to switch my mind
set over to so what if the laundry doesn’t get done that day or that I’m essentially
walking room to room trying to sooth a crying child it’s still okay and I am
being productive, after all I am bringing up a bright and beautiful little girl
and as long as she is loved and healthy what else truly matters at the end of
the day.
